I’d rather be single.

It’s been a good six months since my last relationship and lately I’ve noticed my friends stepping up the pressure to get back in the dating game. Though their intentions are kind – they really do just think I deserve a decent big spoon – it seems odd to me that they regard being single as such a terrible situation. Yet, I thought we were past all that idealistic Bridget Jones bollocks about coupling up in order to find happiness – Mark Darcy died, people, the dream is over!

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Now, I’m not a commitment-phobe, I don’t hate healthy relationships and I do ultimately hope to settle down with one special person. But every time I go on a date, even a good date, I go home feeling even more certain that right now I want to stay single. Why? Because I’m in a fucking awesome relationship with myself at the moment. For the past four years I’ve done the serial monogamy thing and I’ve done the LTR thing. The only thing I haven’t done is learning to be interesting and fun and alive without a partner in crime.

As a 22 year old I’m in a really lucky situation – I have a secure job, I have a great support network and I live in a city offers me everything I could want or need. I enjoy having nobody to answer to come the weekend and I like not knowing whether I’ll even be living in the UK in 6 months time. In short, I’m having fun.

And on the topic of, erm, fun… I’m not breaking any blog boundaries by admitting that I like/need sex, just like any other sane human being. Perhaps if having sex required having a boyfriend, this would be a massively different blog, but it doesn’t. It simply requires having access to gay bars and, if we’re being really honest, having access to certain apps. #Overshare.

The truth is, I wonder if people these days are so concerned with having all their shit together – which, in terms of image branding, is epitomised by a happy relationship – that they would rather be in a relationship with the wrong person than have to actually develop a life and a personality. I remember that after my last big break up, I felt like a complete shell of a person – I literally had no interests or, really, opinions as an individual. I’d invested more in being one half of a duo than I had in being me. I never want that to happen again, hence why right now I’d rather enjoy some me time than some us time.

So, for those of you stuck in the BJ era (Bridget Jones, you goons), I’d like to request an armistice between my relationship status and your pitying eyes. I am okay. Most single people are okay. I will occassionally eat ice cream but that is because I like ice cream, not because I am sad about being ‘alone’. When the time is right, and the guy is right, I’ll get back on the boyfriend wagon. For now, though, I’d rather be single.

Dear Internet, I am not a chode.

Starting a new blog is never a particularly pleasant experience. It’s a bit like your first day in the office when you want your colleagues to see how cool and ‘together’ you are, but when you speak you just end up sounding like an over-enthusiatic goon, or you make an entirely inappropriate joke in which you equate eczema to parmesan and then you notice the girl you’re speaking to rolling her sleeves down to hide the actual real-life eczema on her arms. That happened to me once. Of course, as with any digital medium, you do have the ability to edit an introductory blog post, but to that I ask: what’s the point? In the words of the mighty Bey, “Perfection is…hm.”

The internet is rife with seemingly perfect people. Instagram filters allow us to make ourselves and our surroundings seem constantly flawless, follower-counts on Twitter can deem us Z-list celebrities and Facebook – well, we can ignore Facebook; Facebook is so 2009. The internet (the world) does not need another perfect person, so I have no problem starting this blog and knowing that I might just sound like a complete and utter cock. I just hope I’m a reasonably likeable one – a pleasing 7 incher rather than a grubby little chode, if you will.

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Now, as much as I’d love to appear ‘edgey’ – I did spend 3 years at Goldsmiths Uni, you know – I can’t ignore the fact that you may have absolutely no idea who I am or why my inane thoughts might interest you enough to come back to my little piece of cyberspace. So, I best tell you about myself, which I’ll do in the most quick and painless way I know how: bullet points.

  • I’m a trainee accountant by day (yawn-but-kerching) and a writer by night (yay-but-can’t-afford-shoes).
  • I’m interested in people. We all put some pretty bizarre projections of ourselves out there in the public domain but there’s nothing quite like cracking that shell and finding out someone’s backstory. It’s never boring and it’s never without hardship. Everyone should make more of an effort to be interested in people.
  • I’m proud to have had my writing published in Europe’s best selling gay magazine, Attitude, where I worked in-house for a few months but essentially ballsed up because I had one of them there quarter life crises. I’ve also had a few pieces commissioned by The Guardian, which has been nice.
  • I believe that you can be shallow and deep at the same time. I don’t have time for people tweeting “I hate materialism.” on their iPhones. Liking shiny possessions does not a bad person make.
  • Vanity is my sin. All creatives must at some point face the fact that they want to be known for their work because they think their work is good. I think my work is good, but I also understand that at 22 years old I have an insanely huge amount to learn. It’s also vanity that leads me to post selfies on Instagram – #realtalk #teamgay.
  • I am currently the happiest I think I’ve ever been. Last year through up some horrible LIFE MOMENTS but today I can say I am truly grateful to have experienced them. For the first time ever I actually understand the importance of just being yourself and making life into your very own adventure.
  • Last but not least, and as you’ve probably already guessed, I’m not a huge fan of boundaries. I like humour, honesty and depth. This blog will lack boundaries. Sorry not sorry.

And that’s me in a nutshell. Sometimes I’ll post ramblings like this on here, other times I’ll vent about the trivial (bad dates, my allergy to chubby children etc.) or the political and sometimes I’ll post whatever hilarious gifs I’ve been looking at instead of doing the day job I’m paid for. So, unless you’re my boss, hopefully you’ll be here again soon.

In a bizzle, homies.

Dan x