Depressing things my colleagues have said.

The majority of my co-workers are nearing or over the age of 60 and apparently this means they have lost all capacity for feeling joy. Here are some snippets of what this generation deemed as conversation in the past 24 hours:

Obese 60 year old engineer: “My friends just been given 2 days to live. He spent 3 hours of that time in the hospital waiting room.”

Welsh matriarch-type cleaner: “I was violently ill over Christmas. I thought it might be my hernia but then *pulls a series of squirming faces* I realised it definitely was not my hernia. I tried to keep my mouth closed but even then I managed to vomit all over the room. It was everywhere; the walls, the bed, the carpet. I thought ‘thats going to need bleach.”

62 year old admin colleague: “I am very lonely now Josh has moved out. And the new house doesn’t have a suite yet so I’m just sitting on the floor. Thank God I’ve got the dogs.”